WORLDS MOST OFFENSIVE BEAR

I just can't seem to shake these little guys - I'm sure they insist on being listed just to further ruin my reputation...Particularly unpleasant little characters.

The ursine urchin from Australia you may have heard about. (As if Crocodile hunters weren't enough to contend with... now it's bears that swear and cuss.)

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GREG...THE MAN ON THE STREET

This is a rare opportunity to acquire the talents and services of what some media moguls have dubbed New York's "Man on the Street".

Why?

One reason is Our Man Greg here has a reputation for being the 1st in line for many New York and Metro area events.

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HAUNTED TOILET PAPER STUCK TO MY SHOE

Did this ever happen to you? I found this piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe, and I noticed that it looked like it had a person's face on it. It looks like some guy holding an ice cream cone or something.

It looks like he's in his pajamas and its been haunting me. Take it away!

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HAUNTED OUIJA BOARD

I found this Ouija board in the closet of my late grandfather approximately two years ago. Instead of throwing it out, brought it home and placed it onto my wall, as an “eerie” and modern art piece.

Immediately that night I could hear noises walking around my apartment. Upon checking on my own safety, I found the Ouija on the floor, off the wall about 5 feet. Thinking it was just my crappy ability to hang a picture on the wall, I went to back to bed.

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A WOUNDED NINJA APPLE

One day I had decided to do a little grocery shopping at the local market downtown. I picked up my usual foods... tuna, bread, water, eggs, and so on. Hey, i'm a ninja, I have to stay healthy in order to kick butt.

As I was passing through the produce aisle to grab myself so fruits and veggies, I felt a strange vibe totally come off of this one perticular apple...

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THE X-RAY MASK

WHEN YOU PUT THIS MASK ON IT OPENS THE INNER POWERS THAT ALL HUMANS HAVE SO SEE THE PAST WALLS. WHEN YOU PUT IT ON YOUR NERVES WILL RELEASE A TINGLING FEELING AND THAT IS WHEN YOU NOW IT IS STARTING TO WORK.

IF YOU BUY THIS YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO UNIMAGINABLE THINGS.

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VINTAGE PLAYBOY BUNNY COSTUME

This costume was worn by Bunny Bobbie in the New York Playboy Club from 1970-1975.

In which time she worked at the debut of Elton John, the Republican Convention Press Party which was attended by Jimmy Stuart, Glenn Ford and Ethel Merman.


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MUMMIFIED ANTIQUE FISH

Up for bidding is an antique fish on a wooden, wavy-end carved plank. The board is about 2 inches thick. There lays a big fish in the center of the board.

The mouth of the fish is widely opened, big eyes, spreaded fins and wide tail. The color of the fish is golden-brown with a black streak going up and down towards the tail and head.

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HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HEAD

Everybody wants a little head! Perhaps you've asked your girlfriend for a little head, but she refuses? What's the harm in receiving a little head? Nickelback even wrote a song about getting a little head... Well here's a head's up: now you can buy yourself a little head, right here on eBay!

Don't risk trying to get a little head in some dark alley from a strange woman you don't even know... Get your head from a trusted eBay seller! Umm... after all we're just talking about a tiny little head...!

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STEELERS LUCKY SUPER BOWL PANTS

You are bidding on one pair of vintage preshrunk Levi's black 501 jeans. These jeans are not new, but they're in great shape. They have a 30 waist and 30 inseam.
Also, these jeans were made in the USA.

If you're a Levi's connoisseur, you know that they don't make them in the USA anymore. So these jeans are super hard to find.


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EVA...THE STYROFOAM BOX

She was carved by hand into the face of a small styrofoam container purchased in Charleston, South Carolina on February 1, 2006.

The top of the container shows "Eva", along with the artist's initials "ER" in the lower left corner as well as the date created "2-1-6" in the lower center. The number "100" appears in the upper left area of the box, but its origin is unknown.

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THE METAPHYSICAL PULL OF THIS SIMPLE KNOT

KNOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH! Hello, my name is Dr. Stringman, and you have come right here, right now for a good reason. There are millions of other places on the web that you could have been, but somehow you found what you know belongs to you.

This was not a coincidence, it was the force of this simple knot that physically or metaphysically drew you to it...

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HELP...MY SOUL MAY BE STUCK IN THIS PENNY

Up for sale is a 1998 D Lincoln Penny, not in the best condition, but I'm convinced that my SOUL may be trapped inside of it! That's right... MY SOUL! (You decide for yourself.)

The auction is for the penny, but if my SOUL happens to be in it, we'll call that a bonus. :))

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ERIN THE UGLY OLD MAID

This is an ugly old maid life size bride doll. She is handmade, has a wrinkled ugly stocking face, piercing blue eyes, grey hair, pursed tight lips, and comes complete with wedding dress, and veil.

If you wanted to "doll her up" you could add new shoes, gloves, garter belt panties etc.

The possibilities are endless!


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LUCKY BLACK EYED PEA

This black eyed pea is sure to bring good luck! The pea began it's journeyin a can like many other peas. It was then placed into a panand heated up only to be served at a family meal.

By some stroke of luckthe pea escaped consumption and ended up left on a plate that was placed in the dishwasher...

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UNUSUAL STORY OF THE ANTIQUE BREAST PUMP

Okay, so it's my 39th birthday and my husband plans a special romantic date for us at a nearby winery. We had recently had our third child so a date is a big deal! The place is gorgeous with an incredible view at the top of a hill overlooking the vineyards and a lovely river.

He packs a huge red wicker picnic basket filled with all kinds of gourmet goodies, brie, french bread, smoked salmon, capers, cream cheese, exotic olives marinated in olive oil and herbs, etc...etc...

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PENIS DINNER ROLL WITH SCROTUM

We were out to dinner with friends at an up-scale restaurant on Friday, January 27th when this one-of-a-kind penis/scrotum shaped dinner roll arrived quite by accident at our table.

The little fella was hiding in a basket with eight of his perfectly normal (non-penis-shaped) friends. Not only were we surprised, but the waiter nearly fell on the floor when I held up the phallic baked-good, pointed at the little miracle and said, “What's up wit dat?”

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PORTABLE TRAVELING DENTAL OFFICE

Offered for sale, one 1995 Winnebago Adventurer 33’ Motor Home that has been converted to a portable dental office on wheels!

This unit is currently stored in Spring Valley California (San Diego suburb) but could quite easily be driven to New Orleans or any other Katrina distressed area to put an otherwise idle dentist back to work! Or Mexico! Any place where a portable office is needed!

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THE FABRIC SOFTENER GODS HATE ME!

For those of you who work days let me fill you in on what its like to sleep days, and work nights. It SUCKS!!!

I go to bed at 5:30 every morning and usually around 10 in the morning some loud inconsiderate day dweller manages to wake me up. It SUCKS!!!

I usually get up fix something to eat then go back to bed,But that wasn't the case this morning. I get up Stumble into the kitchen and realize NO CEREAL!

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MYSTERY CASH ENVELOPE AUCTION

You are bidding on a plain

ole' fashioned envelope.

Anything surprises are gifts

from me to you...





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ADVERTISE ON MY PERFECT ASS

What You Are Bidding On Is To Advertise On My Rear End For Life Winning Bidder Will Have To Pay For The Cost Of Markings On My Rear End.

But What A Better Way To Advertise With 3 Kids And Lots Of Trips My Rear End Will Be Seen By 200 People On A Daily Basis And By Thousands On Trips To NYC And Mass !!

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